Swimming for Safety


pregnant, I watched this tv show on Wednesdays
in the opening credits this crying toddler would run
into his mother's arms like people swim for lifeboats

and I knew that would be us

but I am the crying toddler chasing after the cat
the cat who is you, who loathes hugs
who yowls when I hold you like a baby

sometimes when you are asleep I perch
gingerly petting your back, smelling your hair
reminding myself you like me, just not hugs

when you are six you run into a metal pole
you are silent for a moment and then a fire engine wail
you run to me the way people swim to lifeboats

tomorrow you will be curled up inside yourself again
purring to yourself in solitary contentment
but, just once, my arms were your safe haven

Sage Tyrtle’s stories have been featured on NPR, CBC, and PBS. She is a
Moth GrandSLAM winner. When she was five she wanted to be a princess
until her dad explained that princesses live in a dystopian patriarchy,
so she switched to being a writer instead. Twitter: @sagetyrtle

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